We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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