STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
