i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
