when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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