bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
