normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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