Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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