NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
