I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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