I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
