it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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