After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You took a bar mat shot.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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