clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this beer tastes like vomit already
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
