But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
