it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
