it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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