On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
