I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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