i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
