i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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