"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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