I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
