So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
