I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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