piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
