The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
