When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I came so hard my ears popped.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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