apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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