do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
