She announced her abortion via fbk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
