Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
