just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
