I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
