the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
