Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
