walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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