Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
