Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think I just sharted jello shots
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
