:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
