My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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