K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
