Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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