I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
