it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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