He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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