the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
