even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
