I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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