last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
