No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
