very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I didn't notice because vodka
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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